This actually brought back bad memories for me. Depressing stuff follows:

I went to a private school and had the same teacher for all six years. He hated me for multiple reasons and a lot of things he did to me would be considered just plain abusive today. It was bad to the point that my parents, who didn’t understand the issue, only figured it out when my mom ran into a schoolmate of mine years later in a supermarket and she told my mother that she felt so bad for me because of how he treated me.

Anyway, one of the first signs of this was that in first grade, we were going to do a winter puppet show for the parents. Like I said, this was a private school. It was split into grades 1-3 and grades 4-6, so we’re talking like 10 kids here. I was super excited because I have always loved performing. He knew I was super excited. So he cast me as… snowflakes. I had to hold up too snowflakes on sticks and move them around. I was absolutely crushed.

The good part is that as an adult, I’ve been paid to do standup and have done some critically well-received VO work (for some names you would recognize but I’m not going to say, sorry).

So fuck him.

Anyway, not your fault, I just had to let that out.

Back to the fun.

May I direct you to this video?

… With cardboard and string.

Thanks. Appreciate the assist

Buckshot for Jesus

I was once a wrapped box (present) in a play.

google door costume

will at least she’ll finally have the right wing weirdos advocating for her empowerment.

I was a dead alien in our primary schools’ production of Men In Black.

My role was to go limp in a chair and let one of my classmates mockingly wave my corpse limbs around in lieu of dancing.

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Don’t knock it

One does not merely turn their child into a door.

In high school, I was in a production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream (I was act 2 open fairy/Peasblossom) and the absolute best part was the play in a play, Wall spoke her lines and flapped off stage like an enormous bat, funniest part of the whole play.

In my elementary school play of Cinderella. I was cast as a pile of animated clothes. My role was to lay still and then suddenly spin around like one of those spinning brushes in a carwash and flail off the stage.

What the hell is nativity