You forgot the other two mads.

Social acceptance lies in the delivery.

I just need to hear him scream “HERESY!” once, and I’ll be satisfied.

Watching this malarkey from Japan. I’m ~80% sure me and my family are safe.

Trump: First US President to try to invade Canada (since Alan Alda).

And the reason school bathrooms can’t just have kitchen doors that you can back into to open from either direction?

“Don’t die for a cigarette.”

Poetic irony.

I hope this causes that company to become absolutely buried in litigation and debt.

We have to make the difficult decision to part ways with companies that cause undue stress in the people they employ.

A real “checks notes” moment.

Seinfeld: “I’ll tell you what I don’t like about social media censors…”

“You have my drone.”

“AND MY AXE!!”

Conclusion: Kim Kardashian is the primary source of the Ebola Virus in America.

Just like In-N-Out, there’s a secret menu.

Barber: “What’ll it be?”

Me: “Give me a double-double!”

audible gasps

Now you’re the art for a true crime podcast.

Happy intrusive thoughts.

Meanwhile, at the suspect’s hideout:

May the rest of them be tried in court and sued so that all their blood money gets repurposed into something useful instead of just being willed to their entitled children.

Mario and Luigi buff and shirtless makes me see 1920s strongmen on the beach in Long Island lifting dumbbells to impress the ladyfolk.

Check your judgmental shit at the door, lady, that’s a doctor who’s great at her job.

I certainly hope so.

Hey, God? It’s me, Aeron. Please wait until the current pandemic has come to a complete stop before starting another one.