Like I’d give away the best hiding spots. Nice try gestapo, you ain’t gonna catch me with anything.

What are the rules?

If there are none, I’d hide it in the pattern buffer.

Up my ass and around the corner. They’ll never think to look there.

Behind the laundry machine, where it can join the socks in the Lost Sock Dimension.

In the innards of my antique sewing machine, which is currently hanging upside down under its sewing table. The table is covered in stuff.

Behind the drawers of my locked filling cabinet.

Plenum

Inside a box of wet wipes. Take out half the wipes, put the money (inside a baggie) in the tub, put some of the remaining wipes on top, and chuck it the storage bin under the bathroom sink with the extra shower liners and that value-sized jug of hand soap. It’s such a mundane place that most people wouldn’t think to look there. And the remaining wet wipes could go in a baggie in your pocket, so there’s no evidence the wipes were tampered with.

Unbolt the toilets and lift them. There’s spaces in the base you could probably stuff more than 100 bills in each toilet. Bolt them back down again.

I’d separate it into individual bills and hide in half-assed places. Searchers would end up scrambling and getting sloppy, rushing to find bills before anybody else. Like an Easter egg hunt, their greed would be their undoing, because I can tell you from experience that 2hr is not enough time to find 100 of anything in a madhouse, even $100 bills.

But also money in my country are coated plastic so perhaps I could hide a portion of it in the shower trap, which is easy to quickly hide (but gross). The easily found Easter Cash would discourage anybody slowing down enough to be thorough. Consider the mind games an investment.

I’d stuff it anywhere really.

It’s kind of a mess in here… sorry.

Would 10k even cover the damage the searchers are going to do to my home when looking for the money?

Put a vest on one of my cats and put it in one of the pockets. Lil buggers disappear into the mirror dimension when strangers come around.

Give it to my youngest kid. She’ll put it somewhere where nobody can find it. Unfortunately this would also mean we can’t find it either.

Slip them into some ziplock baggies and bury them inside the mass of leaves clogging my gutters and downspouts.

Vacuum seal it with a small steel plate I have to add some weight. Drop it in the water softener tank and put a bag of salt on top of it.

That depends on whether I can separate the bills and keep the ones they don’t find, or if it’s an all or nothing system. There’s a loose floorboard in one room, so if it’s all or nothing, I’d lift that and chuck the package as far as possible under there, replace the board, then mess up multiple other places in the house.

If they can be separated, there are 100 notes, and they’re individually going in every gap, crevase and hole I can find. Between the floor boards, under carpeting, in the gaps in the bottom of the couch, I have a stapler, so pop the bases loose on some chairs, then restaple them shut, tape them under floor level cupboards. I’d have to move fast, but their unlikely to find everything, so I’d be finding random $100 notes for ages afterwards, because there no way I’d remember everywhere I put them.