I know this is probably a shitposting meme. And my wife and my female friend, when I asked them, both laughed and said, “Yeah all the time.” I can’t tell if it’s sarcasm.

I asked this because Im a guy, and we’ve heard it all before. The guy plowing a warm apple pie. The ookie cookie BS. The jerk off with a sock. Dudes have done some weird things. I absolutely have found myself relieving some stress in interesting ways.

But veggies: Is this a common thing? Am I going to have to worry that my daughter, when she reaches a curious age, starts exploring with vegetables?

During puberty, should I start giving my children Amazon gift cards or no questions ask money to protect my produce?

I am aware this question is ridiculous and I am prepared to be ridiculed.

  • kofe@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    My understanding is 80% of people with a uterus don’t climax from penetration, not that we find it necessarily unenjoyable (which is true for me, too; I do need clitoral stimulation to climax). I’ve taken courses on women’s studies, feminist philosophy, etc. to overcome the problematic religious attitudes my parents had, too - and lots of therapy! I’ll see if my library has that book available, though. I’m always interested in learning more.

    I’m really sorry you had that experience growing up, though, that’s awful. As normal as our experiences felt to us having privacy invaded and all the shame, that much shouldn’t be normalized! I’m glad you’ve found what works for you, and I wish you all the most pleasurable experiences around it throughout the rest of your life 💝

    • YarrMatey@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      3 months ago

      It feels like nothing but rubbing for me? Idk. But I definitely recommend the book. I’m not saying those 80% hate penetration, but it isn’t a big part. I know when I talked to my gyno about painful sex, she said use plenty of lube and orgasm before penetration. Very good advice in case anyone needs it.

      I’m glad you found relief from the religious oppression. We need less shaming and better sex ed for everyone. Thanks for your wishes, I wish you the same!

      • kofe@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Oh gotcha, I totally agree it’s not a big part at all! Honestly, I didn’t experience an orgasm until well after I became sexually active, and very rarely with a partner since. It’s extremely important to me as I’m back “on the market” now and have really struggled in past relationships with it. I enjoy the whole aspect to it, exploring whole bodies, but I would very much like to find a relationship where my partner prioritizes helping me climax and has some patience with me on it.

        By chance, did you talk with your gyno about vaginismus? Not sure if I’m spelling that right, but I’ve had a few friends mention that it’s painful, one friend saying she couldn’t wear tampons or anything. I could see why orgasming first would help the muscles to relax

        • YarrMatey@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          3 months ago

          Girl same, it took me a couple of guys and years before I had an orgasm. Luckily my current partner is very patient with me and I hope you find someone like that too. I feel like a lot of maybe younger or inexperienced guys just jackhammer a girl and then they’re done ugh. Sorry for misunderstanding you earlier, looks like we had much more in common than I thought! Judging by the down votes it looks like I said something offensive, and I just wanted to say sorry about that. This is just my experience.

          I think I did ask about that and since she doesn’t have trouble inserting the speculum she said I didn’t have it. I use menstrual cups with lube just fine, although I do use a cup on the softer side.

          • kofe@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            Hey, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to respond but you had nothing to apologize for! I appreciated the conversation and had some confusion, but that’s why I originally commented to get clarification:) I enjoyed the chat, though, and hope you’re doing well!