On kbin all votes are public and you can view who down voted or upvoted someone as if it was like Facebook. I’ve seen people try to call out others for down voting something on there. Mbin is a fork and has the same functionality.

I’m female and bi and it is definitely noticeable when someone is staring at my chest and it is very uncomfortable. When I was younger there were certain guys that rarely looked me in my face and were just looking at my chest the whole time. I asked other girls about it and they agreed they too felt them gazing at their chests and it was really uncomfortable and off-putting for them as well. If you wanna help then tell them discreetly to tighten their bra straps. Otherwise I don’t find it acceptable to stare at a woman’s chest. A glance maybe but you should really be looking at their faces. People are not meat or eye candy, don’t objectify them, just remember the person they are inside. There may be women ok with it and like flaunting it but that’s not been my personal experience.

I hate that simplex is like this.

I’m not going to down vote you lol, I haven’t down voted anyone in this thread. There is no wrong answer or response. I do feel bad for her though, pencils are sharp even when unsharpened, I can’t imagine that felt good. Did she wrap it in a condom? How old was she?

Girl same, it took me a couple of guys and years before I had an orgasm. Luckily my current partner is very patient with me and I hope you find someone like that too. I feel like a lot of maybe younger or inexperienced guys just jackhammer a girl and then they’re done ugh. Sorry for misunderstanding you earlier, looks like we had much more in common than I thought! Judging by the down votes it looks like I said something offensive, and I just wanted to say sorry about that. This is just my experience.

I think I did ask about that and since she doesn’t have trouble inserting the speculum she said I didn’t have it. I use menstrual cups with lube just fine, although I do use a cup on the softer side.

You’re probably right, I never used lube with tampons but if I did it might not have hurt so bad. I did feel it was less tight putting them in once my virginity was gone but it still felt like tearing using them so maybe that was just me. Just now I tried searching but all I got was tampons don’t take your virginity which I already knew and was not trying to imply. I use cups now with lube and it is much better than tampons for me.

Edit:

Will tampons hurt with endometriosis?

They can, but the tampon pain associated with endometriosis tends to be similar to endometriosis dyspareunia, a term used to describe pain during sex. With endometriosis, a tampon can cause a heavy pain felt deep in the abdomen, or cramping.

Sometimes the tampon pain related to endometriosis also can cause your vaginal muscles to tense, causing a sharp pain at the entrance of the vagina when inserting or removing a tampon.

TINA tip: If you have endometriosis, speak with your doctor about which options for managing your period might be most comfortable. Speak up about how you’re feeling so your doctor can help you determine which type of pain relief options might work for you.

TIL I may have had endometriosis this whole time. I was wondering how I was using tampons wrong when I have heavy flows that need tampon+pad to manage.

https://www.tinahealthcare.com/blogs/learn/tampons-cause-pain-or-discomfort

It feels like nothing but rubbing for me? Idk. But I definitely recommend the book. I’m not saying those 80% hate penetration, but it isn’t a big part. I know when I talked to my gyno about painful sex, she said use plenty of lube and orgasm before penetration. Very good advice in case anyone needs it.

I’m glad you found relief from the religious oppression. We need less shaming and better sex ed for everyone. Thanks for your wishes, I wish you the same!

Understandable. I was never into penetration and thought I was weird but after talking to more women and then reading Come As You Are, it clicked that I was actually normal and in the majority (80% are like me). Not that being in the minority is weird, if you read the book you’ll find that is actually normal too. I hate masturbation or sex without a vibrator lol. I never felt safe talking to my parents either, they were super religious and invaded my privacy regularly. I was an adult before getting toys, and everything sex related sucked before them.

I agree parents should talk with their kids, I never meant to allude to that. But I disagree that penetration doesn’t feel bad, for me it feels painful without lube and with lube it feels not painful but never enjoyable. Vibrators are the only thing that feels good, that much is universal among the women I’ve talked to.

Most teens don’t want to put anything up there because it hurts, even tampons hurt as a virgin especially with 0 lube. I never liked regular dildos, most women do not orgasm through penetration. So I would say they are messing with you. I’ve had guys ask me if I ever experimented with pencils or rulers because if they were a girl they would do it. No, wtf only guys think women are like this.

I prefer end to end encryption, like in Matrix, Signal, SimpleX, etc. So I don’t use Lemmy for PMs since they are not actually private, hell I went quite a while where I stopped using Lemmy because it is not meant for someone interested in their own privacy despite the irony of having multiple privacy focused communities. If someone doesn’t want to host instances dedicated to CSAM I could see them wanting to defederate, but so far I’ve seen defederation used as a temper tantrum. It’s always over some stupid drama. If you don’t want to host whatever then what is the point of opening your instance to other people? I fail to see why someone would bother going through this trouble and then say no you can’t view this community meant for modifying your nintendo switch. Even reddit does not care as much as the instance owners on Lemmy do. It’s just baffling. Also good luck deleting your posts and comments. Ugh this convo makes me hate Lemmy again.

I also would rather manage what I block or federate to. I hate that Lemmy enables instances to have too much control over its users, deciding what you can and cannot see and admins can see your PMs too. I got fed up with Lemmy.world because of their federation fuckups, why would communities that talk about piracy but don’t link to anything cause an admin to get sued? They won’t, reddit allows more piracy talk than Lemmy.world does lmao. Obviously Nintendo searches through the fediverse for anyone even saying they pirated stuff, right guys?! Nah I just don’t care for their admins. I usually dont agree with whatever their admins say, I even saw someone from world complain about Lemmy.world policies on their thread and the user got their account deleted by an admin with a nice smug response from them. I can’t have my own instance since I don’t have the money to spare, otherwise I would since it is BS that Lemmy doesn’t allow users to have the same control over their feed as an admin.

I think people are too terminally online and use these phrases to justify being an ass to someone not in the know. In reddit it was always a mod getting pissed at someone having a different opinion (and no I’m not talking about being racist as a different opinion) or asking questions because they don’t know about the subject. They cry sealion and ban the person. Other people say I don’t think they were a sealion, and get banned too. Really it seems more like a, “I disagree and have nothing more to say and now will ban you.”

I think it’s fine to ask questions, and point out if there is a flaw in someone’s logic. If someone wants to stop talking then that’s fine and should be respected. But this comic makes it seem like the lady is racist for no reason and the sea lion is fine until the last 3 panels when the sea lion doesn’t leave after being told to go away.

I’ve heard this term before from a power mod and I’m surprised that this comes from a webcomic that doesn’t even fit any time I’ve seen someone cry sealion. When I read the Wikipedia page it describes something else than the comic which I can agree more with, the author is quoted as saying, “The core of what I set out to criticize is just the notion that any random patient stranger should feel entitled to as much of someone’s attention as they want.” Idk the rest of the Wikipedia page talks more of mind reading, you can’t tell what someone means online since there is no tone and you don’t know the other person well enough. If they are just doing the first 3 panels then it is fine. The last time I saw a “sealion” happen was when mods of a sub announced a new unpopular rule that they knew people would leave the sub because of and anyone who disagreed were called a sealion and banned.

Sorry for ranting about this, I just now was reminded of why I hate this term that is usually misused because of your comment. Feel free to ignore me, I don’t think I deserve some random person’s undivided attention, plus arguments/debates stress me out anyway.

Thank you for posting that link. I’m not fed up (completely?) yet I suppose but it was eye-opening. I’ll have to be a lot more careful about posting, possibly not post again.

This is definitely a con of Lemmy for me. I like to be more privacy focused but Lemmy gives you 0 privacy on whatever you do on the website. Anyone who wants more privacy on Lemmy is told you have no right to privacy, don’t expect any privacy, everything you do is public on the internet, etc. A massive boner killer for me. I think basic things like deleting your own post or comments should actually get removed from all servers, PMs should not be viewable by anyone except the recipients, and what you vote on or subscribe to should be private. Lemmy doesn’t sell your data but that’s because anyone can take the data for free. I thought this stuff was because Lemmy is still new and will get to it eventually but the push back seems to say this was a choice or is not broken. I ended up exploring different social media alternatives but I like the style of Lemmy better since it is more reddit-like with an active user base plus has different android clients. I don’t like kbin because it shows who upvoted or downvoted something to everyone - it’s not accountability when it erodes your privacy.

I used to comment on Lemmy more but then I ran into this problem when juggling multiple accounts, Liftoff sucks ass at letting you know which account you are logged into (I use Summit now and it is better at it) so I ended up getting my accounts’ wires crossed when I thought using the drop down on your accounts changed your account but no you have to go to manage instances to switch which was not intuitive. I ended up abandoning the accounts when I couldn’t figure out how to actually delete the post from the server.

Edit: man I wish I saw this sooner, might be time for me to either stop posting again or look somewhere else.

I have to agree. I considered Standard Notes but I would have to pay for super notes in order to use images, even if I self-host. Same for code blocks, organizing notes into folders, spreadsheets, web clipper. Have to get the most expensive plan for offline access and being able to have local backups, although it is discounted if you self-host completely but why still pay a sub at that point? I would rather pay once and then be able to self-host using their super notes without paying more every month.

I liked Obsidian but wanted encryption that works on my android so I went with Joplin.

Same but I went with proton.

Godamn that reminds me of college, I had a class at 7-8ish in the morning but the only bus that could get me there in time left around 5am so I was waking up at 4am to get ready. I would just find a bench to go to sleep until my class started at that point. I had classes throughout the day with hours in between each one so I would stay most of the day at college, spending a lot of time sleeping and trying to study / do homework. The bus is not free for students here. No trains here either. I am not able-bodied so I can’t just walk but it’s a 40 minute drive from where I lived to college with a long highway so I don’t think people are walking that anyway.

I can definetly sympathize with you, it sounds very rough. Just gotta hang in there!

I had to take the bus and it left at *7:00am so I was waking up around 6ish everyday. I was constantly tired and had trouble staying awake in school. Taking the bus back put me at arriving at 4pm home. It was awful tbh. I see grade school years, especially high school, as the worst years of my life followed closely by early adulthood in college.

Has anyone read their privacy policy?

We may be required to disclose Users personal data in order to protect our legal rights or where disclosure of Users personal data’s are required of us by the judicial authorities only when legal procedures are followed.

Files links that Users download are stored in a database for legal concerns and our internal use. All saved links are erased within 1 month for security reasons and service needs. However all requests made on our site are stored for 1 year, the legal retention period.

I would prefer they had a no-logging policy. This sounds fishy af like a honeypot.