This would be more impactful if it were less creepy. No one does any of those things accidentally.
I think this post completely mosunderstands that people who are overtly creepy like this are completely aware of it and do it on purpose.
#1 and #2 definitely. #5 obviously not. I’d stroke his arm and call him hotstuff.
Holy rage bait.
those crossed the border between creepy and sexual harrassment tbh
People have covered the hypothetical Dave well enough, I’m more concerned about the freaky hat-washing author here. Real Americans wear their hats until they are lost or destroyed in industrial accidents, and the only patriotic way to acquire a replacement is free with the purchase of tools or equipment. Mine says “Yamaha” and came with an outboard motor in 1999, waterproofing it with locally sourced skull oil was the work of years
I found my Husqvarna hat under a tractor in a shop I started working in, got like 15 years out of it, washed it once and broke the peak, godsdammit.
Sounds like a good hat, sorry for your loss
Dangerous game, these would all be hilarious to do to Dave and I’m 1000x more likely to than a woman, he’ll probably get a good laugh out of it and we’ll carry on, especially in the ones above where Dave and I could plausibly be friends.
But also I would then never get closer than drinking buddies with anyone, because I’m not going to ask Dave out even if he’s giving me signals, never going to fall in love with Dave, yadda yadda. At some point it becomes necessary to express romantic interest in people even if I wouldn’t express romantic interest in Dave because I don’t like him like that.
Absolutely 100% would do #1
I am a onion ring slut and want in on the action1 definitely. I work in a kitchen. This is common behavior especially towards the old man in the kitchen who is slightly uncomfortable with homosexuality.
What’s this about washing hats?
You just put the hat in a hat cage and put it on the top rack of the (empty) dishwasher. Don’t use sanitize or high heat tho if there’s any plastic pieces.
Found Dave.
Wash it with borax, it’ll be like new
If Dave and I were friends, it would be utterly disrespectful to not do this to Dave.
I mean, the dude just got his bald patch sprayed, came in with all the confidence, who the faq do I think I am to not acknowledge his high!!!
I wouldn’t do any of those things to Dave, but is it really a test if I also just don’t do them ever?
In fact I don’t even consider these things “creepy” - they’re all WAAAY beyond creepy.
The examples they used are sooo bad. Anyone who says those things know what they’re doing. Those aren’t the people who unknowingly do things deemed creepy.
That said, I can’t really think of a good example. Leaving flowers for Dave? Staring at Dave? Trying to convince Dave to go on Friday night even after he said no?
I had a married man get creepy on me at work. Was saying wierd stuff. He was new and asked my age. At the time, I was saying “23 haha jk I’m 29”. He said he thought it was cute when girls were embarrassed abt thier age (gross), and was saying wierd shit like this to me often. I kept asking him to stop.
The last straw was when one morning, I was over helping the guys on the next line over to me. (in further recollection, Im pretty certain I was over there just to avoid him anyway). I had left my coffee on my line’s desk. This temp worker only there two weeks (and everyone hated him cuz on top of tjis he was a lazy worker), he walks my coffee over to me, “I thought you might want your coffee”. I flipped on him for touching my drink, and said, loudly, “what the fuck dude? Would you bring Mat’s coffee over to him? I left it on MY desk, What is wrong with you I told you to leave me alone!?”
He was walked out 40 mins later and fired.
This post reminded me of this example that happened to me some 8 years ago.
To note, I worked with all dudes. In my department, I was the only lady machine operator, and we had one lady engineer on the five man team for our department. No one, ever made me uncomfortable til this dude showed up.
THAT’S an awesome example of creepiness. Stuff you can see the aggressor capable of spinning to be harmless. “I just brought her her coffee!” while unaware that everyone sees right through it
yeah, I agreed with you that the examples in the post werent very realistic (at least in my expierence), and its usually more mundane and covert. Though, this fella wasnt very good at being so covert.
He definitely thought he was being fun and charming. Weren’t you aware he’s god’s gift to women??
I cant tell you how much worse it was he was married. It almost felt like he was insulting my intelligence by thinking Id entertain such a thing from him. Offended I was
Hey pretty mama, how’d you like me to treat you like my wife? You know, with total disregard.
On the other hand I’d totally complement the fabulous blouse that Dave is wearing.
I think that’s supposed to be the point?
I know it’s supposed to be, but it’s too over the top to make that point. Like trying to teach good manners by using armed robbery and arson as examples of bad manners.
Huh, I thought it was just homophobic and didn’t really pay much attention to how they were flirting with dave
I mean, they are all so obviously creepy. I would rather see this post re-done with the subtle ways a person can be a creep; it would be more educational for whoever the audience was supposed to be.
These are all cartoonishly creepy and really, you rarely encounter them in the wild, if ever.
No one in the world who would do any of those things has ever worried that he was being creepy in a non-sexual situation. Meanwhile the whole point of the worry that you’re being creepy in a non-sexual situation is that stuff you would comfortably say to another man might sound weird to a woman.
I once got called a creep for offering to pay for a beer.
I was in a group of people and we walked together through a foreign city and we didn’t know each other well. Someone suggested we get a beer from the store and chill in the park. Everyone got a beer but 1 woman just didn’t have cash on her. I offered to pay. She accepted.
A couple days later, she told me that I shouldn’t listen to what other people say, it was very kind that I immediately acknowledged her issue and offered help. I was confused.
Wtf, I would buy dave a beer. I would buy dave any drink, I just wouldn’t exclude dave from the experience/group by not doing it.
The dude who called you a creep wanted to hit on her.
The other dude is a friend and no.
The thing is, it’s not being creepy that I’m worried about. I know I’m not being creepy. I care about making people uncomfortable and I don’t need to be creepy to make women uncomfortable. I’m a 6ft dude built like a shit brick house who also has acquired a bad habit of walking silently due to years of working nightshift and having roommates. There is no way for me to be anywhere in the vacinity of an otherwise lone woman without her likely being uncomfortable regardless of what I’m doing. I don’t like feeling like I’m making someone uncomfortable so I tend to just avoid being around or interacting with women. Not sure what else I can do about it.
Fwiw getting old is a solution. I have a lot fewer women getting nervous about my existence, now that I’m clearly old and fat. Now I can walk on the same sidewalk and even in the same direction without scaring them
I’m a bit in this corner.
One time walking home, a street’s light was out. I only realized what happened after it did: A woman had been walking in front of me, and happened to glance back to see the silhouette of a 6-foot man right behind her, fully shadowed. I didn’t even realize she was there because I was thinking over games to play when I got home.
She freaked out, rushing forward to get away. I mumbled an apology that could’ve easily sounded like a stalker’s, and waited a moment to give distance. But also like, it was cold and I wanted to get home.
I don’t blame that woman for that - it IS a scenario she’d have to be careful about. But it also sucks.
If we’re talking the ‘walking down the street at night and you see a woman’ scenario, making noise and keeping a respectful distance helps. Develop a whistling habit, have some jangly keys out, whatever. This especially helps if you’re behind us.
Beyond that, it really depends on the situation, but as long as you don’t leer or loom that’s a good start.
“Develop a whistling habit” is not a way to attract less attention I guarantee you. If you ever get good at it people will be set at ease, but being bad at it yields no comfort to those around you.
It’s not really a feeling of uncomfortable, we just might be weary. And if you don’t make any abrupt movements or get too close, we walk away thinking you were probably an ok dude. I don’t know if that helps?
bold of you to assume I have self-esteem
let alone others-esteem
I’d invite Dave up if his ball cap matched the same team I root for. Drinking alone can be boring
