I would like to add a description (details), but it would be a very long text.
In short: I have depression, multiple chronic illnesses, C-PTSD, ADHD (btw, I could treat it with Adderall/Adderall XL, but there all drugs are banned, even for medical purposes), no money to rent on my own, poor physical and mental health, some basic things I don’t have money for, I don’t have a computer and it seems that my laptop will soon broken…
I can’t go to a psychologist because… the quality of education and medicine in this country is terrible, and it’s dangerous to say “everything” here, my mother recently worked, but now she’s left without work and starts doing some kind of crap, she was the one who brought in the income until this time; she feeds me fast food. In this country everyone doesn’t give a sh*t about each other, I am surrounded by “broken” people, this is a country full of cynics, sociopaths, and narcissists (consider mentally ill… and genetically defective, apparently).
Like this… I am spoiled, my life and my future are spoiled.
They do, it’s just that like you they’ve learnt to be careful about what they say, and to be selfish because they need to survive.
Or they once cared, but life ground them down, so they sought escape in alcohol or whatever. Obviously, this is by design. If people were open about being unhappy about their country, this would threaten the government. Not that this helps, but maybe it’ll help you feel less alone.
I can’t help you with work, but reading, tv, gaming and podcasts can be a great help when you don’t have access to mental health services.
Fiction allows you an escape from your daily reality. English language fiction allows you to learn the language Non-fiction allow you to work on your issues. Not as good as therapy, but better than nothing. If concentrating on long texts is a problem, try listening to audiobooks.
Eg. a good book about PTSD is The Body Keeps the Score.
Oh, and obviously get a VPN and pirate everything, even if it’s for your own safety.
The book you recommended is about PTSD, but not a C-PTSD, so I think if it’s make sense…
I’m a trauma therapist, The Body Keeps the Score is very good for C-PTSD. You should also read Gabor Mate’s books and watch his interview with Tim Ferris on YouTube. It’s called Dr Gabor Mate on trauma, addiction, Ayahuasca and more. Read Richard Schwartz work around Internal Family Systems Therapy. He did an amazing interview with Rich Roll called Multiplicity of the Mind.
There’s a lot of really good content online if you can’t access a therapist. You want to start with making sure you can self regulate and self soothe and build from there. Somatic exercises will help you.