like “supporting” someone with adhd but hating them and believing they should be shunned or treated differently for interrupting others, not paying attention, and not being able to sit still, rather than try to help them or tell them not to interrupt the conversation.
or “supporting” deaf people but getting mad because they only talk sign language and can’t hear what you say.
I have quite a few disorders and i’ve been talked abt and treated like shit for it, and not just because I have the disorder but because im different. I don’t fit in anywhere and never will.
all of my “friends” talk shit abt me and my disabilities, and then one person is always like “oh yeah, this person said this about you and they hate that you can’t pay attention, and that person says you should jump off a cliff!”
I think there’s going to be a lot of nuance to the answer. Is it the disability itself they don’t like or behavior peripheral to it but which exacerbates the problems?
Old people develop physical disabilities, and even though they get shit on around here a lot because of inaccurate assumptions about how they voted or whether they’ve owned a home, they should be shown compassion and patience for their disabilities. I recently went on a day tour where the description was very clear that there would be this much walking over uneven surfaces and this many stairs, etc., and still some people held up the whole tour for several minutes wanting to stay on the bus when the bus was supposed to be driving off somewhere else entirely. The whole tour plan was to take the bus out and walk back. Their disabilities came into play but it was the context of them ignoring that they couldn’t do what was required. They should have signed up for a different tour.
I had a friend with a deaf roommate. I learned some sign language and tried to get to know them. It turned out they were a pretty selfish person who didn’t want to do any of the household chores. Fine, nothing to do with being deaf. But this person would also answer the phone when I called but not be able to understand anything well enough to take down a message. That’s very frustrating behavior related to their disability but worsened by some other problems with their personality. This was back in the time of land lines, and the apartment had an answering machine shared by everyone.
Does someone who acts like a total asshole, diverting every conversation to niche topics only they find interesting and saying many careless and rude things, deserve some slack because the root cause has been diagnosed as an official disability? Sure, I think that’s fine. But people are still going to get frustrated by it and sometimes leave that person out if they aren’t in the mood for a social battle. They shouldn’t be relaying suggestions to jump off a cliff, but I could still see those people being allies of the disabled overall, if not perfect in their execution.