I’m (19F by the way, not like 50) a bad texter. I can be not dry when I want to be, but usually I’m just not up for texting. I really don’t engage with my friends. (I’m asocial).

I don’t participate in their activities. I don’t really ask them how they are, or what their interests are. I don’t even engage in deep discussion with them unless I’m up for it.

When my friend sends a video that reminded her of me or that she finds funny, I don’t click it and just ignore it.

Maybe my friends are growing apart and they text me less because of this, but I’m kind of okay with that because I know they will be there for me when I need it and because I’m genuinely just tired/bored most of the time.

One time, my friend asked me if I’d like to spend time with her, and I just point-blank said “No”. IDK if that’s rude just because I’m being honest and also because it’s not personal, I don’t want to engage with anyone.

  • TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub
    4·
    3 days ago

    Of course not, if I was chatting with you I’d feel like I was bothering you.

    • “How are you?”
    • “Listening to music”
    • “What band?”
    • “It’s on shuffle, I think it’s Metallica”
    • “What song from them? I love Metallica”
    • “IDK, let me check. It’s ‘Sad But True’. I think it’s actually good”.

    —-

    • “What are you up to today?”
    • “Watching TV”
    • “What show?”
    • “It’s Rick and Morty, but don’t tell anyone”
    • “Why?”
    • “I’m afraid others will think I’m an incel or something”

    My mom and mother-in-law are in their 80s, and they’re not great texters but you can tell they’re making an effort, and that counts a lot. It’s not about caring about how well you text, but how a series of dry answers might make your friends feel like a nuisance.

    You need to “groom” others to care about you so they tolerate antisocial behaviors, but not all people can be groomed this way.