I shoved a couple of blocks down my throat during the national anthem. For lunch I microwaved a couple of blocks and added them to my coffee. My remaining blocks I’ll probably have in a smoothie.

Fun fact about wikipedia, a friend of mine attended wikimania. He told me that while there, he learned that many of the volunteers are neurodivergent men, this is why wikipedia contains so much detailed information on birds and trains.

Tap credit card to parry, hold credit card down to block. Move credit card forward, down, down-forward followed by payment to shoryuken.

I think it would have more significance, imagine there was a single immortal entity that looks exactly like one of your body parts. I guarantee you people are chopping off each other’s hands and offering them to the “hand god”. And don’t even get me started on feminism, is it a male hand, is it a female hand? What does it mean?

Philosophy, science and even art would all be vastly different. Imagine you’re Martin Heidegger and you try to reason that mortality makes an authentic and meaningful life possible. Yeah sure Marty, then why the fuck does this giant hand squish people? This giant hand is immortal, and it’s giving all of our lives meaning. Do you not think the fucking hand knows that? Do you know why the hand is doing what it does? Do you think we’re somehow better than the hand because we die?

Or maybe you’re Frederick Nietzsche. And you are wondering about eternal recurrence. Would someone willingly live the exact life forever? I don’t know dumb ass, have you considered asking the big giant floating hand?

These are just a few examples but you are vastly underestimating the significance of the giant floating hand.

20.000 a year without hope or prospects.

I saw a functional one for sale past customs in the Duty free shop in Singapore. Make of that what you will

No, we’re going to continue on this path until we have to suck the liquids out of your body to cool the data center

You’re right about colonialism being a net loss for the government. In the Netherlands the NSB (Dutch Nazi Party) based a lot of their messaging around the idea that if the Netherlands were to join up with the allied forces, they would be forced to relinquish their colonies.

This was absolute nonsense but it spoke to people at the time because the idea of giving the colonies their independence had become a popular talking point during the recession because they were no longer profitable (fuckery involving the united fruit company).

During the second world war the Dutch colonies would become profitable but for completely different reasons. Basically a lot of the fosfate used in bombs came from Curacao and the aluminum to craft airplanes came from Suriname.

“Hi, it’s me your favorite employee Greg. Ever wonder where I go during my second poop break and why the kitchen smells like fish!? Subscribe to Greg Plus to find out! 14,99 per month or save up 30 dollars when you subscribe for the year at 149,99. Use the code #fuckcapitalism to get an additional 10 percent off!”

Just know that someone at one point in time jerked off to you or will jerk off to you. This is called the circle of life. For every creature there’s a creature that jerks off to it. But at the very top of the circle there’s a creature that no one jerks off to, that’s the apex masturbator.

Yeah, they’re called dance titties. It happens because when you dance too much while on E your nipples chafe from friction within your clothes and your nipples swell up and become huge.

I guess I’m moving to China, because fuck that.

Alright, if you have any questions have your email guy reach out to my email guy

I read your info on air. I had a listener come forth who said he had the exact same credentials as you, so you’re already a listener! Happy to have you! Tomorrow’s episode is about identity fraud, be sure to tune in!

If you reply to this comment with your home addres, credit card details and social security number, then I’ll reach out to you if one of my listerners leaves.

I’m sorry I can’t provide a link, I have enough listeners as is. Recently I became a victim of identity theft so I needed to make it very clear to my audience that I am in fact myself, so I start every episode by stating my home address, credit card information and social security number. A new listener is not a good idea. I suggest you find a nice conch and go listen to the sea, that always calms me down.

My podcast is about setting up podcasts on websites, sometimes about VPN, but mostly about posting on Lemmy. I’m doing a podcast right now.

I prefer to follow the Phil Spector gun rules. First, a gun is to man as a baton is to the conductor of an orchestra. By waving and pointing your gun, you can conduct and orchestrate the flow of any conversation.

Second, when I doubt, whip it out, if anything your gun can function as an icebreaker, a gun to the face, gets everyone on the same page.

And finally, shooting is fine, you won’t harm anyone unless you mean to. Bullets are so small, have you seen how big the average American is?

I earn my paycheck with photoshop, premiere and lightroom. I am trapped in the apple ecosystem and I’m being held hostage by Adobe, an m5 macbook pro is the best way for me to edit pictures with on a 10 hour flight without the battery crapping out. If there was an alternative, I would buy it in a second.

I have 4 thunderbolt ports, good battery life, decent silicon but a shit OS that’s just slightly better than windows 11. Somebody please build an alternative that supports Creative Cloud because I’m tired of getting fucked in the ass.

Hell, while you’re at it build something open source to replace Creative Cloud and make it the industry standard.

The fruit fly manages to get out by uploading its consciousness into an IoT Fridge. Now the fridge constantly orders fruit, locks its doors, lowers the temperature and makes the fruit rot. The fruit fly cannot consume the fruit, yet it is filled with fruit, this is fruit fly hell.