To remind their children why they stopped talking to each other in the first place

youtube.com/watch?v=8Ux8POF8eM…

Wow! How do the native people pronounce that?

“In the Mood” is jazz, not soft rock

Potatoes aren’t fruits, they’re really soft rocks.

If your foam quickly falls flat, try adding some glycerin!

Somehow, “birdsharking” sounds dirtier to me

Aren’t those supposed to let you commune with the dead? That should display Windows 7 and play the hauntingly beautiful Windows 95 startup tune.

Maybe they’re Teflon or diamond-coated pants? Or maybe chicken-sharks have soft down-like scales in the area above their pectoral fins and before their dorsal fin?

I dunno, I’m not an ichthornithologist

You can’t just go around calling out my wife like that.

I also like how people often respect reasonable requests in comments. For example: I’d appreciate it and would find it highly amusing if everyone downvoted this comment.

Absolutely incredible. That’s the quickest I’ve ever blocked someone. I appreciate your measured responses.

You’re giving him credit for 3 more days per week than he works

I met the guy who invented the Reebok pumps technology, and successfully sued Reebok for stealing his invention. He also invented the football flack jacket. The November 1980 Playboy had the most in-depth article that also focused on the person behind the inventions.

Bro, wait your turn for the cursed Rubik’s Cube

Amazing

Yes? The eager agent with their hand raised. Or do you need to go to the bathroom?

If it’s anything more than a campaign of fear, hubris, or a fascist dog whistle (tornado siren), then it’s probably meant to be a trigger or signal for the most aggressive supporters with the least common sense.

The ones who believe that it’s wrong to curse on TV, unless their favorite president is saying it. The ones who will watch a shitty comedian and then repeat an offensive joke, claiming it’s ok to repeat it because someone famous said it. The ones who get secretly turned on thinking about their own guns and using them against their neighbors with the campaign sign for their candidate’s opponent. The ones who are scared to pull the trigger because the police might get confused arrest them when they’re actually the good guy; but the police will understand when they see the president executing an enemy of the state.

And enemies of the state come in various flavors, all defined by the president’s social media: people who don’t automatically love the smartest and most peaceful president of all time, people who complain about gas prices, people who complain about grocery prices, people who don’t say “Super Intelligence,” people who have shared JD Vance memes, people who said anything negative about Charlie Kirk after he died.

Even in my most pessimistic thoughts, this isn’t meant to be an immediate catalyst; just a reasonable enough way to further dehumanize criminals and erode our country’s compassion. Just another step before publicly executing enemies of the state and then political opponents. And then calling on the J6er types to do their part and prevent their neighbors from “illegally” trying to vote for the opposition, who will probably be defined as terrorists.

010?

*sad camera noises*

Sometimes I give myself the creeps