I did something like this once. I was meeting a friend at a bar and she was with another guy I never met. I had just moved back to the US from Germany, so she introduced me and said “he just moved here from Germany,” not realizing that it wasn’t clear I was American. So he starts asking me how I like it here etc, and I threw on a German accent and went with it (I speak some German too). I pretended that my English was a bit rough but could get by.

We hung out for like two hours and then when I got ready to leave I dropped the accent and said in my normal Midwestern American voice “Ok cool to hang with you bro imma head out,” and left.

Women are so we are going back home now to see what happens in a little while but we are you and I are on our side and the other one of us will have a great day and I am not a good one of those 7.

Aw but that sucks if you get pregnant in August or September

I do this too. Then I discovered spindrifts and find them fucking delicious, so I started making my own spindrift at home by squeezing fresh lemons or limes into a cup before filling with homemade soda water.

I haven’t actually done the math but I think this system is more economical than bulk-buying cans of spindrift

Buddy, I’ve been posting things I find on Lemmy for 2+ years. It’s all I post and I still haven’t made a repost so I doubt it’s happening.

Less cops

Fewer racism

Very better society

Wow!

Haha I’m saving this image

Not gonna lie, had me in the first half

Jokes on you, it’s four half limes in my fridge

My hometown installed roundabouts, with 4 way stop signs. Like, why.

Me, a heathen, explaining how my family does Easter to my Jewish wife:

“We dye eggs and hide them then eat a bunch of chocolate and jellybeans.”

“Wtf? Why”

“I dunno”

For the love of God and all that is holy… MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!!!

Yeah everyone knows HTML is an STD

Smek lol

I definitely read this as you were a third year French major being forced to taking a compiler course for a moment and went wtf. Then my brain slapped itself and realized you mean you’re a student in France.

My wife and I refer to a cat in the lap compelling the other to do things for you as the “Kitty Claws” of our marriage contract

I worked at an office once where the wifi legitimately got worse when it rained. It was because the buildings internet used an antenna instead of being wired, and the building was just barely in range of the source signal. When it rained, it was enough added distortion to make it noticeably worse.

Ah fair

That’d be Riech

They didn’t say dollarydoos