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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 18th, 2025

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  • No, there’s actually no evidence that they work. Period. Not because people don’t know what they want–although that’s true–but because they can’t predict how people will feel in person. Attraction is incredibly complicated, and it doesn’t come down to checking a whole lot of boxes. The idea of ‘market value’ is pure incel bullshit; that’s the reason that incels do things like looksmaxxing, and it’s also the reason that it utterly fails.

    At best, they can help screen people for core values, e.g., I’m not going to be able to get along with an evangelical christian, and I’m certainly not going to be able to date anyone that believes that firearms should be banned or heavily restricted. But even that’s difficult, because people that seem to have radically different values can still have good relationships with each other.

    Most of it is a placebo effect.

    https://hdsr.mitpress.mit.edu/pub/i4eb4e8b/download/pdf












  • Shibari is normal for me. That’s just my jam. Not into impact, blood, not super into choking, but can do it more-or-less safely if that’s what my partner enjoys receiving. No shit or piss (technically squirting is mostly pee, but somehow that’s okay). I like tying a partner up, blindfolding them, and then alternating between soft/erotic touch and riding crop/paddle/etc. Or tickling, but that’s one is a bit risky, since I had a partner that nearly dislocated a shoulder straining at the ropes. Feet are meh, biting is okay, wax seems like a pain to clean up.

    Had a partner that really wanted to be ‘abducted’ and ‘raped’; never got around to it before we broke up. It would have been risky in a big city, but still…



  • Heh.

    I do rope. I’m out of practice, but that’s my jam. I know someone online and IRL, but mostly online, that really wants to be tied up. Getting them to meet up again in person again so we can talk through an entire scene, and make sure that it’s fully safe and consensual is like pulling teeth. It’s… Worrisome. I know that some of the things they want simply aren’t going to happen; breath play is already extremely risky (altho, hmmmmm, I just realized that I could clip and O2 saturation monitor to a toe, and that would alert to dangerous conditions…), doing it when tied up vastly increases the risk. They’re experienced in other BDSM activities, but not rope work, and I get the feeling that they haven’t been overly concerned with safety in the past.