• Goes to the new Spirit Halloween store.
• Buys Jedi costume for Halloween party.
• Is murdered at party by moonlighting stormtrooper providing security.

I think that’s enough reading the news for me for today.

May they have a happy and healthy child.

Me: “I am so tired of exaggerated and sensational headlines.”

*reads article*

Me: “Well…fuck.”

This is awful.

I can see a dragon also fitting the requirement for people that suffer from giraffophobia.

Nope

I genuinely want to catch an IMAX showing before it is too late. It’s like being able to watch the Hindenburg disaster in person.

“The hills around here are pretty squatchy.”

UBER EATS terms and conditions.

I see Cybertrucks all the time. Everything about it is so ridiculous that I am genuinely embarrassed for the driver. I think it is the scale. If it was the size of a Hyundai Santa Cruz, the aesthetic might work…maybe. It just looks silly, gawdy, unfinished, and cheap.

TIL that the “f” in NAFTA stands for “furry”.

I came here for a “shit for brains” comment and was disappointed.

It’s been a rough week or so.

It likely buried itself deep into the ground after it dropped from the bomber and failed to detonate.

You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.

Gen-X in tech here. When I was about to enter the workforce we were told that having multiple jobs in our resume or showing that we stayed at a job less than five years was really bad and would make us difficult to hire because it showed that we couldn’t be depended on.

Fuck that!

I switched jobs all the time as I chased higher salaries and bigger benefits. If they wanted my skills they needed to pay me AND they needed to guarantee me at least two off-site training programs per year. All that training and experience in different technologies and environments made me more and more valuable until my only option was to go into consulting so that multiple clients could benefit at once and none need to commit to paying me beyond the scope of their project.

Nonplussed…that takes me back.

I was educated in a private school for British ex-pats run by a very old and very posh couple. This was the early eighties and they were already in their seventies, so definitely from a different era. Because of this and because of the size of our school (my entire year consisted of nine kids) we ended up quite odd. Up until highschool we had a mild but “poshy” London accent and words like vexing, nonplussed, providential, etc., peppered our vocabulary. Then my family moved to Louisiana followed by Texas and that shit went right out.

Also, the word is aluminium. It is NOT aluminum!

Tipping hat to the article author…

You can actually tip The Guardian. Unlike other larger publications, The Guardian accepts tips. Whenever I read a good article (often long form) from them, I tend to give them a dollar. More often than not , I end up paying more than if I had paid for a year, but it feels like I am properly rewarding good performance.