https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zZzn-KxeRI

Thank you for letting me know this was a thing!! Total game-changer.

Can’t quote the lyrics without sharing the awesome lyric video!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbQSzs11euk

Used to sing this song to my kid at bedtime but he hasn’t asked for it lately. Maybe I’ll try to work it back into the rotation.

I have a white Prius named Shadowfax so if I need to go somewhere fast I can yell “run Shadowfax, show us the meaning of haste!”

Local takeout ftw. I haven’t eaten at a pizza chain in years and don’t miss it at all!

Now the real question in New England is Italian-style vs Greek-style pizza

Another vote for mindustry! That game is a blast.

I have a child and I’d be the first to recommend not having one. It’s expensive, it wrecked me emotionally and physically, and I worry every day about what kind of world my kid will grow up into.

But all those things are worth it in the end to me because I really wanted to be a parent. My kid is an absolute treasure to me and I put up with the suffering because I do genuinely love parenting and love seeing him grow up. If I was any less enthusiastic about the process going in, I would have either run away or killed myself by now. That’s how demoralizing and traumatic parenting can be. Granted I have a special needs kid but so do probably 10% of parents so do you want to roll those dice?

All that aside, the fact is that parenting these days is filled with societal obstacles. With both parents working, you’re rationing sick days and constantly running out, leaving no time for vacation or personal days off. This leaves the option of either taking unpaid days off or reducing one’s working hours. Since no one is home doing housework all day, working parents spend their evenings and nights doing housework. If you need to run an errand or take the kid to a doctor’s appointment, that comes out of either your paid work time or your free time. Childcare is both expensive and hard to get, with wait-lists for daycares in some cities of several months. And once your kid is in public school, you have to find after school care, which is not guaranteed for every kid at every school.

And don’t even get me started about summer. Three months of cobbled-together summer camps and asking/begging family members and friends to watch your kid when their busy schedules permit. If your kid has special needs or requires trained caregivers, you are out of luck.

These are fixable problems, but they require massive government-subsidized investment in childcare and parental leave structures and the government is not doing that. Childcare salaries are so low that the supply of daycare teachers is basically dried up. Same with public school teachers and afterschool caregivers. Why work as an afterschool teacher when you can be an independent nanny and make twice as much per hour? As for parental leave, there is no requirement that parental leave cover anything beyond the bare bones of the time needed to give birth, leaving most new parents to burn through their entire year’s worth of sick time during their babies first month of life when there is a doctor’s appointment just about every week. Then blow through it again next year when the kid gets sick twice a month in daycare. My kid is six years old and this is the first year I haven’t run out of sick days before June.

Our society was designed for families with at least one full-time caregiver, and now that is basically impossible but the system has not been updated. This game is not designed for us. So why would anyone choose to play?

Sparse on details but she was with an older man who was not her relative so I’m not hopeful it’s a good reason. 😣

Found safe and alive! I wish they’d put that in the title of the article but of course they want you to click on it.

cries in working parent

My employer gives us 8 sick days a year. When we run out of those we are supposed to use vacation time. It’s downright depressing how fast we blow through the sick time in a bad winter season.

I’m very very lucky to work from home, so I can neglect my sick kid at home while getting work done and thus avoid having to burn through my vacation time as well. Others aren’t so lucky.

Highly recommend IGNEA if you like melodic metal. A few faves:

Jinnslammer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZF_qqeXzM4g

Disenchantment https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnV9vpEit6E

Mermaids https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YU9WFEwsQQw

But gosh their stuff is just all awesome.

Aw damn thanks for fixing that! Yes I wrote it as a list and yes I forgot the double space. Still haven’t figured out bullet points in lemmy

Advantages of bras:

• Look nice (if you’re into that look, which many people are)

• Keep your nipples from chafing

• Support/containment for larger boobs

• Keep prudish people from being mad at your nipples

• Can be worn without a shirt for sports if they cover enough real estate

• When breastfeeding, help catch/absorb leaks

Disadvantages of bras:

• Uncomfortable if not fitted right
• Sweaty as fuck on hot days
• Expensive
• Many have to be hand washed if they are fancy

I would say I wear bras about 30-50% of the time and it’s usually for either support/chafing prevention or looks. The rest of the time I can’t be bothered. I’m also lucky to not have super large breasts. I know women who do may find a good fitted bra to be more comfortable than no bra.

When I was breastfeeding I wore them all the time though because it is super awkward to leak through your shirt in public.

Edited to add bullet points bc I suck at lemmy formatting

You seem to be implying all people and countries are on a scale moving closer to some single ideal.

I mean that’s definitely how some people interpret it but at least for me, patriotism encompasses the idea that my country should be best for me and the people in it but that other people in other countries get to think the same thing about their country and work towards their own version of “best.”

But I’m not gonna argue that everyone does patriotism this way because that’s clearly not the case 🙃 plenty of “patriots” out there willing to wreck their own country in a war over bringing their own ideals to a different place.

I take issue with the first panel.

To me, patriotism is “I’m going to work on my house because I love the people who live in it and I want them all to have the best house.”

If you start from the assumption that your country is the “best” that’s nationalism and straying too close to the roots of xenophobia.

What could possibly be in your browser history that you don’t want people to see?

I’m sorry, do you live in the same world as the rest of us? Seems like half the country wants to murder gay people and thinks porn should be illegal and you can’t fathom why someone might want to hide perfectly acceptable parts of their identity?

This would basically disallow any closeted gay/trans person from ever running for office, for example. People deserve their privacy.

I’m a huge fan of Nabokov’s and have read Lolita several times… But I’ve never heard it described as horror before and you are so right! I guess before I’d have classified it as tragedy but horror fits so much better.

It’s basically a horror story told from the point of view of the monster.

The only “tragic love story” is maybe Dolores’ mother trying to warn the world about Humbert being a pedophile only to be hit by a car and killed, unable to save her daughter. Or maybe Dolores’ tragic battle to love herself and escape from all the men who want to take advantage of her.

Rowling with another steaming hot garbage pile of an opinion on sexual abuse, no surprise there. What an awful person.

Cisgender woman here, I just wanted to add that if my husband were to come out as trans, that would not be a tragedy or something I wished he’d gotten figured out sooner for my sake. In this hypothetical scenario, if it somehow managed to make us incompatible as married partners we’d deal with it but people have gotten divorced for much worse reasons before. The worst part for me would be worrying if he’d been miserable during our marriage, because I love him and would hate for that to be his experience of our time together.

It’s really hard to imagine because AFAIK we’re both cis but personally I’d probably prefer to stay married to my spouse even if he changed his gender identity. I mean he’s still the same person I married and we still love the same things and have a wonderful life and child together. I dunno, maybe it wouldn’t work out in the end but I sure as hell wouldn’t be mad at him for something he couldn’t change.

Anyways, my point is you don’t have to assume that your relationships with cis people will all get blown up if you do happen to be trans. I appreciate the urge to have your ducks all in a row before embarking on significant life events but the truth is that marriage and adulthood is super messy anyways. If you marry someone and have a kid with them the odds are good you will have all sorts of chaotic events to deal with- physical illnesses, mental illnesses, kid stress or illness, weight gain or loss, money trouble, job changes, changes in personality with age, the list goes on and on. The trick to being happily married is rolling with the changes, working hard at your partnership, and being committed to your partner, not having it all perfectly lined up at the start.

Trike! Or recumbent trike. Or an e-trike.

Get an ebike. It solves several of your cons at once.

No need to wear spandex or neon to ride on an ebike (or any bike honestly I bike everywhere and the only neon thing I own is my rain pants) just put lights on your bike and don’t dress all in black.

Can’t help you with the helmet, that one’s pretty important but there’s lots of nice looking helmets out there.

No getting sweaty on an ebike unless you want to, because you can crank the pedal assist if you’re starting to sweat.

Have literally never had an issue finding somewhere to park my bike. Sure have an issue finding car parking though. At the downtown garage I park at, cars are $20 an hour but bikes are free.

You’ll probably go faster than the cars if there’s lots of traffic. We’ve done a car vs bike race a few times when we had both starting the same place and going to the same place and the ebike always wins or is like 10 minutes behind at most.

Bluetooth speakers and transparent headphones both solve the music issue.

Many ebikes have extra cargo capacity, so grocery runs are easier. If you’ve got a large family then you might need a cargo bike or to rent a car periodically for large trips.

The only real downside imo is the weather if you live somewhere extremely cold/hot and the safety from riding near cars. The rest is easy to get over once you’re zipping down the road at 20mph getting those sweet, sweet biking endorphins.