I had joined Reddit twice in my lifetime but was not actively using it, and maybe that’s the reason I’m not very familiar with this forum culture.
I would say that Lemmy is by far the most responsive SNS in terms of the community engagement that I’ve ever used.
Each Lemmy community has its own rules, just as each subreddit does. They’re generally posted in the community’s sidebar. Your post breaks rules #1 & #3 of !asklemmy@lemmy.ml. Don’t flog yourself over it though. For some reason c/asklemmy’s rules get abused the most, because a lot of people treat it as a catch-all community.
One good place for this post would have been !lemmy@lemmy.ml: “Everything about Lemmy; bugs, gripes, praises, and advocacy.”. But again, don’t sweat it.
It’s worth noting also that each Lemmy instance has its own instance-wide rules, which are usually posted on their home page sidebar. Which means every post is subject to two sets of rules: the instance’s and the community’s. That may seem onerous at first, but after a while you get the hang of it and internalize the rules of the places you frequent.