cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16589408
Places like gay bars and cafes were made with the explicit purpose of creating a safe space for LGBTQ+ folk. We HAD to create safe spaces because so many straight people want to inflict harm on us or wish that we were exterminated. Being around you means we cannot be ourselves fully because we will always hesitate. We will always wonder “Are you one of the good ones?” We spend our lives tiptoeing around straight people wondering if we can be ourselves or if we have to hide it to protect us from the psychotic amount of negativity and hatred that we have to deal with for merely existing.
I don’t care if you’re one of the good ones or not. By simply being there you are changing the entire makeup of an LGBTQ+ space. You are adding in fear, apprehension and confusion into a place that was never supposed to have it. Moreover, you’re treating us like a novelty. Like we made this place for you to feel safe in. You are ignoring us and forcing us out of our own spaces. There are multiple “gay bars” that I have been to that no longer have predominately gay clientele and have started leaning towards advertising for straight people. Why? Because so many people showed up to “feel safe” that it pushed every single one of us out.
It isn’t for you. You do not belong there. Stop feeling and acting so entitled to a place that has nothing to do with you and that was made with the explicit purpose to be free from you. Give us back our spaces that we made for us and stop whining when we dare to say that.
Your feelings are not more important than our identity, safety and peace of mind.
Edit: Look at all the entitled straight people. Downvote me all you want. You are a genuinely shitty person if you go to a place that was made specifically to be free from you. You’re even worse if you’re trying to pretend you are anything but. At that point you’re lying to yourselves and us.
Maybe you should listen to the people part of that group though instead of feeling like you have the right to enter a space not designed for you, not for you and then turning us into a commodity for your own personal safety.
But very nice to see Lemmy so psychotically homophobic and self centered to believe that you belong in a place not for you. Y’all are worse than reddit. Didn’t think that was possible. I’m not engaging with the rest of you on this. The point has been made and more than supported in the comments. If you think you have the right to be there, you’re a shitty person. If you are actively inviting people who don’t belong there, you’re a worse person.
If I do have time for a night out, my friends and I tend to favour queer establishments. Now a considerable portion of them are queer themselves, but considering the behaviour I’ve seen displayed towards female presenting people in straight clubs and bars, I don’t see how I could stand for excluding anyone from a space where they might feel less unsafe.
Also, I don’t walk on eggshells around my straight friends, or any straight people, really, especially not on a night out. There are OK straight people, and there are not-OK queer people. If someone behaves badly in a bar, they should be kicked out regardless of their identity.