cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16589408

Places like gay bars and cafes were made with the explicit purpose of creating a safe space for LGBTQ+ folk. We HAD to create safe spaces because so many straight people want to inflict harm on us or wish that we were exterminated. Being around you means we cannot be ourselves fully because we will always hesitate. We will always wonder “Are you one of the good ones?” We spend our lives tiptoeing around straight people wondering if we can be ourselves or if we have to hide it to protect us from the psychotic amount of negativity and hatred that we have to deal with for merely existing.

I don’t care if you’re one of the good ones or not. By simply being there you are changing the entire makeup of an LGBTQ+ space. You are adding in fear, apprehension and confusion into a place that was never supposed to have it. Moreover, you’re treating us like a novelty. Like we made this place for you to feel safe in. You are ignoring us and forcing us out of our own spaces. There are multiple “gay bars” that I have been to that no longer have predominately gay clientele and have started leaning towards advertising for straight people. Why? Because so many people showed up to “feel safe” that it pushed every single one of us out.

It isn’t for you. You do not belong there. Stop feeling and acting so entitled to a place that has nothing to do with you and that was made with the explicit purpose to be free from you. Give us back our spaces that we made for us and stop whining when we dare to say that.

Your feelings are not more important than our identity, safety and peace of mind.

Edit: Look at all the entitled straight people. Downvote me all you want. You are a genuinely shitty person if you go to a place that was made specifically to be free from you. You’re even worse if you’re trying to pretend you are anything but. At that point you’re lying to yourselves and us.

Maybe you should listen to the people part of that group though instead of feeling like you have the right to enter a space not designed for you, not for you and then turning us into a commodity for your own personal safety.

But very nice to see Lemmy so psychotically homophobic and self centered to believe that you belong in a place not for you. Y’all are worse than reddit. Didn’t think that was possible. I’m not engaging with the rest of you on this. The point has been made and more than supported in the comments. If you think you have the right to be there, you’re a shitty person. If you are actively inviting people who don’t belong there, you’re a worse person.

  • Echo (they/them)@lemmy.worldEnglish
    161·
    3 months ago

    As a nonbinary person in the middle of transition, I understand the point you are making but disagree. Yes the LGBTQ+ spaces were formed by a culture of exclusion - at many times and in many places this was absolutely needed for many to survive. Assuming you are talking about the States, we are at a place where the general culture is starting to focus on diversity, equity, and inclusion more than ever. Yes there are still times and places where queer-only might be needed, for example I am in an exclusive trans support group, it’s goal is to provide a place to discuss such topics, for therapies, support groups, resource provisions, etc - not for daily and social life. When it comes to general hangouts, we still might band together due to our similarities and natural friendships, but we go out into the general population, we immerse ourselves with society, we invite everyone and anyone to join us. This is in Alabama by the way.

    In order to get to a point where queer people are no longer forced to hide, we must stop choosing to do so. Our social lives need to push into and knock down the remaining barriers that exist. This isn’t to say to remove Gay bars and the like, but to accept that as the general theme or atmosphere and to remain inclusive to all. Diversity, equity, and inclusion is precisely this. Additionally, both sexuality and gender are spectrums, and presentation does not dictate identity. Due to this, it would be ignorant to disallow certain people’s - you can never truly know another’s identity.

    I am sorry if you, or someone you know, no longer feel as if your social hangout is a safe place, but I don’t believe they should act as an exclusive club in order to maintain that feeling. Society is changing, and the goal is complete immersion and acceptance. Other societies do it, and we can too.