cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16589408
Places like gay bars and cafes were made with the explicit purpose of creating a safe space for LGBTQ+ folk. We HAD to create safe spaces because so many straight people want to inflict harm on us or wish that we were exterminated. Being around you means we cannot be ourselves fully because we will always hesitate. We will always wonder “Are you one of the good ones?” We spend our lives tiptoeing around straight people wondering if we can be ourselves or if we have to hide it to protect us from the psychotic amount of negativity and hatred that we have to deal with for merely existing.
I don’t care if you’re one of the good ones or not. By simply being there you are changing the entire makeup of an LGBTQ+ space. You are adding in fear, apprehension and confusion into a place that was never supposed to have it. Moreover, you’re treating us like a novelty. Like we made this place for you to feel safe in. You are ignoring us and forcing us out of our own spaces. There are multiple “gay bars” that I have been to that no longer have predominately gay clientele and have started leaning towards advertising for straight people. Why? Because so many people showed up to “feel safe” that it pushed every single one of us out.
It isn’t for you. You do not belong there. Stop feeling and acting so entitled to a place that has nothing to do with you and that was made with the explicit purpose to be free from you. Give us back our spaces that we made for us and stop whining when we dare to say that.
Your feelings are not more important than our identity, safety and peace of mind.
Edit: Look at all the entitled straight people. Downvote me all you want. You are a genuinely shitty person if you go to a place that was made specifically to be free from you. You’re even worse if you’re trying to pretend you are anything but. At that point you’re lying to yourselves and us.
Maybe you should listen to the people part of that group though instead of feeling like you have the right to enter a space not designed for you, not for you and then turning us into a commodity for your own personal safety.
But very nice to see Lemmy so psychotically homophobic and self centered to believe that you belong in a place not for you. Y’all are worse than reddit. Didn’t think that was possible. I’m not engaging with the rest of you on this. The point has been made and more than supported in the comments. If you think you have the right to be there, you’re a shitty person. If you are actively inviting people who don’t belong there, you’re a worse person.
@Riker:
I think I sort of understand where you are coming from and why you act like this, but I’d also like to offer some insight about how and why things work fairly well in other places of the world.
Yesterday I went to a pride parade with about 10k participants. I guess it could’ve been 12.5k, if the weather hadn’t been shite. Anyway. Where I went yesterday, I’ve been going to that particular pride parade for the past 18 years quite frequently as long as I was in the same country. Back when I first went there, it was about 5k participants and there’s two reasons why it grew in numbers, went back in numbers, and grew in numbers again.
The event has always been fairly inclusive towards all LGBTIQ people and their allies. The numbers skyrocketed over the years and as a consequence of this, many more smaller pride parades started in this and other states. My best estimate from yesterday is, that 1/5th of the participants were straight cis allies. We need them. Because by the end of the day, conservative / far right Nazis threaten everyone who’s not one of them. We can change a lot more things towards a positive outcome when we work together against those despicable gobshites.
In regards to safe spaces: As mentioned in my other comment, pretty much all queer bars / party events around here are very inclusive in terms of non-queer people attending. Sure, there are specific gay events, but they accept transgender men. There are lesbian events, but they accept transgender women. And the transgender community tends to be very open about attending family or friends, so they can ask questions and learn more about the whole shebang. If it’s a specific non-public event, it will be advertised as exactly that and no one’s got a problem with that.
I hope this helps you to steer your thoughts and views towards a more positive and productive direction rather than continuing to close yourself off and engage in trench warfare.