• IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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    7 months ago

    Three product lines of tasty fatty and salty foods that will be thoroughly enjoyed by your pet while at the same time staving off heart disease, diabetes or excessive weight gain. Perfectly formulated to help maintain the health of your pet to ensure a long healthy maximum lifespan. The food is also mixed with a special formula of perfectly balanced simulants, antidepressants, methamphetamines, anti-psychotic and microdoses of LSD and other hallucinogenics.

    Product one has minimum levels of mind stimulating drugs to keep your pet happy on a regular basis.

    Product two has increased doses to sedate and calm your pet when it is feeling depressed, isolated or stressed.

    Product three has increased levels of addictive substances such as methamphetamines in order to be used as a control method to train your pet properly. These can used as treats in order to manipulate your pet into learning specific activities.