Take Meta for example: We’ve chosen to defederate from them; lemmy.world is choosing not to as of right now. If I comment on one of their posts, does that mean Meta users could see what I said?
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Yes, everyone can see it they do not even need to be logged in to the instance.
I think federation is at the community level. So if that community is hosted by lemmy.world then yes it will show up. A sites federation controls are for local communities only.