I, like many gamers, grew up playing Pokémon Red and Nintendo 64 and was obsessed with Nintendo products. I graduated to a PS2 and PS3 and became super into Metal Gear Solid and Call of Duty and Fallout. Also spent a ton of time with the Guitar Hero series. I loved the escape gaming brought me and it genuinely helped me relax.
Fast forward a few years and I hadn’t really played a video game between the years of like 2011-2017. College, moving cross country and busyness of life kept me from gaming. Finally in 2017, I bought a Switch and Breath of the Wild and felt the same magical feeling I remember when I first started playing Ocarina of Time, or the first time I booted up Metroid Prime, or Metal Gear Solid 4. I started to get into online gaming and made a lot of friends. I played my Switch frequently for a few years.
During the beginning of COVID lockdowns, I turned more to reading than gaming and my Switch gathered lots of dust. I ultimately ended up buying an Xbox Series S when it was announced because I’d never owned an Xbox system and Game Pass really intrigued me. I went through a phase of being very into Destiny 2, Halo, Gears of War, Forza Horizon…a bunch of games I had never played before.
Then, a divorce, a new job change, another cross country move brought new levels of stress to my life. I lacked an attention span strong enough to focus on a video game. FPS’s seemed boring, online games couldn’t keep my attention long enough to get through a match, and eventually I’d just leave a game on the pause menu while I messed around mindlessly on my phone. Gaming wasn’t even a way for me to decompress anymore, it seemed more like a chore I was procrastinating—which sucks.
I’ve fallen deeper into this lately, as more life changes have come along. I work a stressful job with long hours. I’m now a stepparent to two young boys. The little free time I have I spend walking the dog, reading, and trying to just let my mind settle and decompress. Let alone, if I try to turn the Xbox on or have the Switch on my lap, it turns into a whole event where the kids want to sit and watch and participate and ask tons of questions (which is fine, but sometimes I just want to do something by myself for me!)
I miss the time of my youth where gaming was a relief and a release for me. I miss how I felt when I first got a Switch and felt so excited and so nostalgic and reinvigorated and looked forward to playing a game! Now…I feel like I can’t even consider myself a gamer.
So. That’s a long winded way to ask if anyone else has gone through similar ruts, or fallen away from gaming, and if so, what games helped you get that spark back? What games brought you back to that nostalgic feeling you had when you first got into gaming? What games help you decompress after a long day? What games have you recently become obsessed with in such a way that you look forward to playing them and are always thinking about them?
I want to get back into gaming. I want to feel the magic again.
I bought a steam deck. Its the best thing if you don’t have lots of time as you can pause and turn it off and pick up where you left off later. Obviously that won’t work for online games great for project zomboid though. YMMV
Yeah, definitely the best way to get back that GBA/NDS feeling.
Contrary opinion - it’s OK to give up hobbies you don’t enjoy any more.
Gaming was an important part of your life at one point. You remember it fondly because currently you are lacking something in your life, so you’re thinking - I used to enjoy gaming so I should enjoy it again.
Doesn’t work like that - people go through phases. Find what you enjoy now. Yes, maybe it’s gaming again. Maybe its something else - hiking, fixing motorcycles, partying … who knows. Experiment with activities until you find something that will make you burn again!
I agree with this, it’s ok to find something new. Maybe you’ll come back to gaming after a while.
For me after some time away from PC gaming, getting a steam deck was one thing that got me back into it. The other thing though was definitely selecting relatively short games. I played a lot of open-ended games that I could never finish like rimworld or crusader kings, it was nice to get back into games with a beginning middle and end. And in the same vein it means I’ve been playing stuff that I was interested in playing back in the 2010s but didn’t really have the time/money/hardware for
Nothing makes me enjoy games like moderation. But moderation isn’t just how often you choose to play - it’s also how much you’re expected to play.
I’m going to discuss both, because I think people underestimate personal moderation. But I suspect gameplay moderation is your struggle.
Personal moderation:
Games mimic psychological fulfilment (problem-solving, self-actualisation, etc). But it’s not in a lasting way, they’re just more attainable.
It’s like buying a chocolate bar vs cooking yourself a roast meal. It’s easier, it’s pleasant, and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying it - but if it’s the only thing I’m doing, and I never put in the work for something more satisfying, I feel unsatisfied - even emotionally ‘sick’ (bored, restless, ennui). When they are a treat at the end of a day, they feel great. But when they are my day, I struggle to enjoy them.
This is the trap that often catches directionless people (eg: depressed, NEET, lonely). They don’t play games for games, they play them to avoid the anxiety or stress of cooking a roast meal. They eat chocolate until they feel sick, and then feel too sick to cook.
Gameplay moderation:
Games are designed for people who have time to burn. Teenagers, kids, some young adults. When you were younger, you could afford to burn that time, and it felt good, because each session meant you felt that hit of dopamine for problem-solving, achievement, and progression.
But now, you can’t. You’re an adult, you don’t have that time. And yet games aren’t being designed for you anymore, but the new kids and teens. They brag about dozens or even hundreds of hours of playtime, and bloat their content with grind. (if anything, the latter has gotten even worse.)
You only have an hour to play a game, and after that hour, there’s no feeling of progression or advancement - the game expects you to give it more time than that. And without the feeling of progression and advancement, games don’t feel as engaging.
That is why they feel like chores, like jobs; it’s why you choose things that give immediate feedback like the internet. Games are asking you to put in too much time and then not giving you enough back.
Portal 2 is considered a masterful game at five hours long, because each hour is rewarding. Is Destiny? Is Halo? Froza?
If this is your concern, my suggestion would be to step back from the bigger scale games that want to monopolise time, and embrace smaller games from indie devs.
You’ll get far more variety, they tend to be much denser. They’re also cheap enough that it’s worth it to try a bunch of things you might not have tried if they were AAA.
If somebody says a game is ‘only 6 hours of gameplay’, see that as a positive, not a negative. It probably means each hour is going to mean something.
If you’re depressed, sometimes you lose interest in your hobbies. You might want to look into seeing someone.
I will say, you seem a bit worried about no longer considering yourself a gamer, like this burnout has led to a crisis of identity. You are MORE than your hobbies. Gamer is a temporary state based on what you are doing. It is okay not to be one. You’re still you.
Thank you for this comment. I am working on myself and trying to see what I can do to help me get through this depression I’ve been experiencing.
I appreciate you reminding me that I am not defined by just my hobbies (or my work, or my failures, or whatever). I am me, and that is perfectly alright.
@Evolone I went back to a #WoW 3.3.5a private server I used to play on when I was young and couldn’t afford the monthly fee. The community over there is super laid back because everyone knows there will never be new content. I’m really enjoying my time there, despite only having a few hours per week to spare.
So, go back to your roots. Play a game you used to play a lot.
Try some chill single player games, ones that focus on a great story with no real difficulty. That helped a lot for me when I had a similar feeling.
Firewatch, the Life us Strange games, Road 96, Unravel, Superliminal to name a few.
The latest Zelda, Tears of the Kingdom, completely reignited my gaming passion. This game is incredible if you enjoy rich world building, exploration and adventure, and puzzle solving.
Super Mario Odyssey if you haven’t already played it.
Really reignited that spark.
Also if you enjoyed BotW, Tears of the Kingdom is a fantastic sequel.
Feeling the same, even tho my life hasn’t been nearly as stressful as yours. Games, especially new single player games with thousands of hours of content just aren’t fun for me anymore, even tho I loved Skyrim, Fallout, Dragon Age and Witcher. But I still find a lot of fun playing games with friends.
Especially DayZ. It’s like, really just taking a long walk with friends in the forest, because that’s what the game is lol. Strolling arounds in Cherno, sitting together at the campfire and talking about our days, sometimes meeting with strangers and sharing that experience (or getting into a stressful firefight 😅). These are really the best experiences I had with gaming to this day.
Have you considered playing a shorter singleplayer game? I find I get fatigued by how long some games can go on for whether it’s multiplayer like The Elder Scrolls Online or a sandbox game like Red Dead Redemption.
Maybe you could try something like GRIS? It’s a relaxing game with a neat art style that that only takes about 3 hours to beat.
I mentioned Gris in my comment too! I’m in love with that game and second your recommendation.
Have you considered playing a shorter singleplayer game?
this is my trick as well. I use an app called Depressurizer to sort my steam library by both review score and length simultaneously and grab one of the higher rated <8 hour games I haven’t played yet, then when I finish it, I find that my slump typically ends and I can pick up a longer game again.
Worth mentioning these days I play precisely zero multiplayer games (because i’ve got a toddler so i need to be able to pause whatever I’m playing)
Like many before me said, explore other interests. Then when you get back to gaming try moving out of your comfort zone. If roaming on open worlds has been your thing for years try switching to a neighboring genre such as battle royale or coop monster bashing for instance, or even try switching to a totally different genre like puzzles or fps. Challenge yourself to new habits and gameplays, and do not hesitate moving on to another genre if it’s just not your thing.
Have you played Outer Wilds by chance? I agree with many that it’s probably one of the best games ever made, and I can’t think of any game that better encapsulates what games should be capable of. It captures the magical potential of exploration and discovery like nothing else I’ve ever played. So many cool ideas waiting for you to figure out, and the process is just so fun.
Along those lines, I’ve just been growing fonder of smaller, indie-style games, which had never been my preference before now. Games like Gris, Little Nightmares, Hades (if you consider that “smaller”), Deliver Us the Moon have left a really positive impression. Many of them are imperfect, but I feel like there’s a lot of love tangible in those experiences. Maybe I’m just imagining that, but they lack the bloat that has disillusioned me with a lot of the bigger games lately, and they feel more purposeful in general.
If you haven’t, look through some lists of best indie games and see if anything jumps out at ya.
There are moments in Outer Wilds that left me grinning like a child. It hits at that same time of wonder I felt playing ocarina of time when I was very young
My girlfriend got me to play Outer Wilds and the first thing I did was try to fly into the sun and she was just staring at me like “why are you like this” while I was grinning like mad.
Exactly! There were other times that I don’t want to mention here cause I don’t know how to hide spoilers, where my fully adult mind too was thrilled by some of the revelations.
During the lockdowns my son was born. What’s really rekindled my love for gaming was not a particular game, but how I gamed. Getting a Steam Deck totally changed things for me and made it really convenient to access my gaming library.
The first thing I did with it was not actually play new titles but visit my backlog of older JRPG games that I had missed out on (specifically the Trails series).
Gaming at my desk where I worked wasn’t the same as gaming on the couch or next to my son while he was sleeping. Sounds silly but it’s made it much more enjoyable!
I love my steam deck and also had a son during the pandemic, but funny enough it didn’t really have that effect on me. I can’t really game when he’s awake because he’s too interested in touching the buttons/screen himself, and if he’s asleep, I can just play something on my PS5 or Xbox on the couch. I do use my steam deck a lot when he’s taking a car nap or whenever my wife and I want to watch a TV show together (but not the kind of show that demands full attention)
I don’t play games while my son is awake (ever) because why wouldn’t I want to spend time with him 🐥. I usually get to sneak in my hour or two while he’s asleep at night. My PC is in the den so I enjoy sitting next to him in bed while to play games for a bit.
I am looking forward to when he’s old enough to start with retro games like the original Mario Bros!
Yeah, basically same here. He’s almost 2, so we’re starting to introduce some high quality mobile stuff like pokpok and sago, and he’s tried some simpler controller games (like the latest paw patrol one on game pass) but he can’t really grasp the concept of how the controller controls the character on screen (even though he’s great at holding the controller)
If you’re up for a challenge and an adventure my recommendation would be Elden Ring. It gave me that exact feeling you’re describing.
